Parents TV came to the YinOva Center to interview me about using Chinese medicine to treat low libido. You can see the video below.

A few months ago a journalist from Cookie Magazine spent 6 weeks using our methods to increase her sex drive. She wrote a great article that many of my patients really related to.  In it she described what it’s like to still love your husband but to have lost your mojo. Using Chinese medicine she starts to get her desire back….  You can download a PDF of that article here.

Whenever I write about sex drive on the blog I get emails from patients sharing their stories and bemoaning the fact that they used to feel more sexual and wish they could recapture those days. It’s not surprising that busy women with families and jobs find that having sex is low on their list of priorities but making the time to be intimate is a crucial way of bonding with your partner. You can read a previous blog article about this here.

I blogged recently about using Chinese medicine to get your libido back and that article prompted a writer from Cookie Magazine to come to the YinOva Center to get help for a flagging sex drive. The article she wrote will be in the October issue of Cookie. We are happy to have been able to help her.

Chinese medicine has a long tradition, going back to the Han Dynasty (206 BC – 220AD), of seeing sex as a spiritual practice and encouraging functional sexuality as a form of healing. This was known as HeQi which literally means “joining energy” and refers to the way, in a good sexual relationship, both partners contribute energy to each other. By doing this the Taoists believed that it was possible to use sex to increase lifespan. Interestingly modern research agrees with this. Scientists say that regular intercourse can cut the chance of a heart attack or stroke by 50%, significantly reduce the risk of prostate cancer and give your immune system a boost. So both the ancient Taoists and modern experts agree that staying sexually active can increase both the length and quality of your life.

Yin and Yang

Chinese philosophy teaches that everything is made up of yin and yang in dynamic balance. Our bodies depend on yin for nourishment and substance and yang for energy and movement. Yin energy is what connects us to the earth whilst yang energy connects us to heaven. Sex is seen as a way of uniting yin and yang and thus connecting heaven and earth. During lovemaking a man gains yin energy by pleasing a woman and this yin energy is said to replenish his life force. Many people are surprised to see so much emphasis on female sexual pleasure in the old books on this subject. The reason is that men were thought to lose yin energy by ejaculating but gain it by experiencing their partner’s orgasm so it made sense to help her have as many orgasms as possible. When I explain this to my female patients they usually see it as a profoundly sensible piece of ancient wisdom.

Healing Energy

This energetic exchange was seen to be a form of healing. Women take in yang energy and give out yin energy and vice versa. In this way sex is seen as vital and energizing and the Taoist sages developed detailed sexual positions to heal specific maladies. The emphasis is on touch as a way of healing body, mind and spirit.

Becoming One

This joining of yin and yang was thought to have a spiritual dimension. By focusing on the dynamic balance of yin and yang, heaven and earth, passion and intimacy lovers were said to be able to transcend the self and experience connection to their partner, creation and spirit.

So how does all this Taoist wisdom translate into advice for modern women coming seeking our help at the YinOva Center. Here is what we tell our patients: -

• Cultivate your own sexual energy. Take time to breath into your pelvic area filing your lower abdomen with qi down to your pelvic floor.
• See sex as an energetic exchange with your partner. Sometimes this is lively and sometimes it is peaceful. Take the pressure to perform off yourself by seeing sex as one more way you and your loved one connect.
• Pursue the kind of holistic health practices that bring balance to your body such as acupuncture, massage and meditation.
• Have sex. Make time to connect with your partner in this way. It’s good for your relationship, it’s good for your health and if the Taoists are to be believed it’s good for your spirit.

“Can you help me get my mojo back?”

Karen¹ was a tired Mom with two small children who was worried about her lack of libido. Here at the YinOva Center we regularly hear from women who are concerned that they have little or no interest in sex. To a certain extent it’s normal for sexual desire to wax and wane and a low sex drive is often the result of major life changes such as illness, having a baby or menopause. Karen was delighted to hear that something as ancient and traditional as Chinese medicine has much to offer a modern woman who wants revive her sex drive. In fact Chinese medicine associates a healthy sex drive with overall good health and some of the most famous Chinese tonic herbs, such as Ginseng, are also considered to be herbal aphrodisiacs.

The problems women have with their sex life can be divided into four areas

• Lack of desire

• Lack of arousal

• Failure to orgasm

• Pain or discomfort with intercourse

All of these areas have different diagnoses in Chinese medicine and are treated with different combinations of herbs and regular acupuncture treatments.

Lack of libido in women is usually diagnosed as weak Kidney Qi and Heart blood deficiency. The kidneys are considered to be the root of reproductive energy and the emotions, as reflected by the heart, also play a vital role in female sexuality. So we treat low desire with a combination of herbs that nourish both the heart and kidneys.

Lack of arousal is also related to weak kidney energy but in this case it is attributed to weak kidney yin. Yin is what gives our bodies lubrication and so at the YinOva Center we have found that giving our patients herbs that tonify kidney yin can really help them become aroused easier.

Failure to orgasm is related to stagnation and in particular stagnation of liver qi. In Chinese medicine the liver channel flows through the genitals and the liver is responsible for the smooth flow of energy throughout the body. Lack of orgasm is related to an interruption in this energy flow. We give these patients qi-moving herbs which seem to help a great deal.

Painful intercourse is also related to stagnation in Chinese medicine – blood stagnation. As in Western medicine where painful intercourse is associated with a diagnosis of endometriosis or fibroids, in Chinese medicine the pain is attributed to some kind of local obstruction. We give these patients blood moving herbs as well as referring them to their GYN for further investigation.

At the YinOva Center we start by taking a full history and working out your Chinese medical diagnosis. In Karen’s case running around after two toddlers was making her tired and leaving little time or energy left for sex. She also talked about how separate she felt from her husband, Andy¹, now that her life revolved around their kids. She commented that when she and Andy did make time they both still enjoyed sex but that motivation was an issue. The combination of emotional shut down and physical exhaustion was a clear case of kidney qi deficiency and heart blood deficiency. I gave Karen a Chinese herbal formula and we agreed to meet once a week for regular acupuncture. She also decided to consciously set aside time for intimacy. Within a month Karen was much happier about her sex life. She described feeling much closer to her husband and commented that he too seemed to have a new spring in his step.

Here’s the advice we give our YinOva Center patients when they come to us for help in reviving their sex drive.

• Come and see us for regular acupuncture – acupuncture moves qi in the channels around the genitals and so can help with issues related to orgasm. Acupuncture can also gently balance hormones and so can help increase desire and arousal.

• A specially tailored herbal formula can be really helpful. Many of our patients have reported great success from taking Chinese herbs for their particular condition. Chinese medicine has a long tradition of using safe, gentle aphrodisiacs and may be all you need to get your sex life back on track

• Consult your doctor – there can be structural and hormonal issues affecting your libido and your doctor will be able to help with these. Your doctor can also tell you if any of the medicine you are taking is lowering your libido and may be able to suggest alternatives. She can also check for undiagnosed medical conditions such as diabetes, high blood pressure and hypothyroid – all of which can affect your sexual response.

• Exercise – regular exercise moves qi in Chinese medicine and so alleviates the qi stagnation associated with poor sexual response. Exercise also reduces stress and improves your body image, both of which will help you feel sexier.

• Strengthen your pelvic muscles. Pelvic floor exercises called Kegel exercises can help you become more aware of which muscles give you sexual pleasure. To perform these exercises, tighten your pelvic muscles as if you’re stopping a stream of urine. Hold for a count of five, relax and repeat. Do this several times a day.

• Set aside time for sex. Although you sacrifice spontaneity by doing this, scheduling time when you and your partner can be intimate can really help a struggling sex life. You can also liven things up by making some changes to your regular sexual routine.

1. All names have been changed to protect the privacy of our patients.

Photographs
© Theodor38 | Dreamstime.com
© Christian Wheatley | Dreamstime.com
© Mark Aplet | Dreamstime.com
© Redbaron | Dreamstime.com

When we were writing our book Making Babies: A Proven 3-Month Program for Maximum Fertility, we devoted a lot of time to helping couples pinpoint the exact time of the month they should be trying to conceive. I get tons of questions, in my practice, about timing intercourse and also about how often to have sex during a woman’s fertile period. There’s a lot of conflicting advice out there so I thought I’d use the blog today to clear up some of the confusion.

The first task is to work out when you are ovulating and the biggest mistake women make is to assume that they always ovulate in the middle of their cycle. Some people’s GYN’s tell them to count back 14 days from their last period to calculate the day of their cycle that they ovulate on. This method can give you a general idea of when to have sex and will work for many women but if you are struggling to conceive it’s worth being a little more precise. Here are some of the ways our YinOva patients pinpoint ovulation. Continue reading…